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When I had come back from the barn I had noticed blocks piled at the back and I figured I could reach one of the bedrooms if I stood on my toes. The question was, could I get out of the house without being heard? KellyAfter taking a shower I crawled into my bed and lay on my back thinking. Cathy and I had grown closer during the last year and I wondered if it was leading to something more than just fuck buddies. I didn’t see myself as a lesbian and neither did Cathy; it was just the circumstances we lived under that made us do it. I liked her, a lot in fact, but I knew that when the day came for me to leave I would find a man to start a family with. I wanted children and I would be damned if I would let them grow up like I had.There was a noise outside the window and I got out of bed. What I saw made me giggle, outside the window hung Tony with his fingertips on the narrow window sill. I opened it and looked down at him.“Hi, would you mind letting me in?” his voice in a whisper.I did. "I like that one," Stacy said."Good," I told him. "Because I have some good ideas for your drums thatshould help make it even better."He smiled back at me, and I turned my thoughts toward the last songthat I had written. Of the four, this one meant the most to me. Thissong alone had more power and emotion than the other three songscombined. This song proved not only to the world, but also to me, thatI could overcome the challenges that had been thrown at me since I hadembarked on my career as Sarah Carerra. This song embodied the strengththat I had been able to muster after the press conference just threedays earlier.So much had happened since then, and I couldn't imagine feeling thedespair that I had felt at the studio again. I certainly didn't feelthat way now. I was embarrassed to have the knowledge of what hadhappened to me last week talked about by the media. But that despairhad been transformed into a strength that was encompassed in this song.It was a strength that had lifted.
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